A friend approaches me. He has a great idea for making lots of quick cash really fast. Naturally, I perk up and listen intently. He finishes his story, and slips in one minor detail, and that would involve robbing a bank! I do my best to listen to his continued efforts to sway me in his favor, but he’s already lost me back there somewhere. Robbing a bank? “Really? With you? Not with you, or anyone else in this lifetime,” I think to myself. Eventually, he waits for me to respond. Without hesitation I tell him one word…. No!
He continues to press on, and I start shaking my head no repeatedly, telling him pretty much what I thought at first. He sees that I’m getting agitated, and keeps on bugging me about it, until I finally explode and scream quite audibly, “NO!” I turn and walk away, but he’s right behind me and won’t let up. I’ve stated my intention and that’s the first step. The next step is to tune him out completely. I speed up my pace and continue walking, not acknowledging his existence. It’s not that I don’t want to know him; it’s that I think his little idea is more than a bit ludicrous!
Later, I find out that he’s told a mutual friend of this, and that I know of it too. Unfortunately, our mutual friend thinks it’s a great idea, and can see no idea why I would object to such a “wonderful plan.” Where the first one left off, he starts in on me about it. “C’mon man, it won’t be so bad! Just think of all the money we’ll have! No worries after that! What are you afraid of?” I repeat the process of saying NO endlessly, and then eventually tuning him out too.
This guy’s quite the relentless sort, and brings it up in every conversation we have for the next few days. Eventually, I decide it’s time to state my reason for saying no and why I refuse to entertain such absurd ideas. I decide to draw a few lines in the sand, so to speak, and I do it in a way that will “sink in. I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the debate. “Here goes,” I tell myself, hoping for the best.
First, I talk about the so-called good points each one has, laying a positive foundation for my reply. I talk about how cool it would be to have all that money, to do whatever I wanted to do, go wherever I wanted to go, and the like. I can appreciate those facts without a doubt. This validates their points, and gets them to listen. Once I know that I’ve truly gotten their attention, I start to get into what I truly wanted to say.
I ease into the reasons why I feel that it’s not a good idea, morally, spiritually, and legally. I point out subtle things like remorse, paranoia, and regret. I talk about how guilt will haunt them for the rest of their lives, and I throw in a dash of the inevitability of getting caught, and serving time in prison. One starts to act as if he has a “backup plan,” but backs down in seconds.
He realizes that I am not interested in doing this, and that nothing is going to change my mind. I validated their opinions, and then cited my own reasons. I couldn’t have said NO any clearer than that. Point made. Point taken. Mission accomplished!