You’ve probably heard the old saying, “Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.” Perhaps you’ve heard it in more colorful language! Regardless, the meaning is the same; to assume something usually leads to misunderstanding, or even conflict. We do as we know, and it can bring so much trouble into our lives. This is very true if our thoughts and feelings tend to take on a selfish tone. However, not everyone is selfish, and to assume so would be incorrect; case in point!
Generalization is a form of assumption on a much grander scale. It says that everything will be a certain way, and there is no uniqueness. “This is so unfair,” we scream as children, “All the other kids get to do what they want to do!” As children, we don’t realize this is simply not true. Yes, there may be a few kids who get to do whatever they want, but I’m willing to bet that most of them do not! So we generalize that everyone else is free, while we assume that our parents are only trying to imprison us. It doesn’t matter how much they try to justify why they put their foot down; our mind is made up that they have it in for us.
Left unchecked, it can lead us to presumptuous behavior throughout our lives. We begin to “act is if,” something has already happened, even if in fact it hasn’t. A fine example would be human relationships. If someone does something several times consecutively, we naturally begin to assume that they will continue to do so. We are creatures of habit apparently, and believing so dictates this. We come to depend on this thing happening, or this person being available. One day, something changes, and they or it, isn’t there for us. We have come to depend upon them, and we feel resentful. We were being presumptuous, believing that they would always be there, no matter what. Assuming this brought us intense pain.
Sometimes it’s based on a so-called majority of examples, based on other people. The media is guilty of doing this on a daily basis. It reports statistics on something, let’s say crime, and it says that a certain race is much more likely to commit a crime than the others. Perhaps this is true, but this has a dangerous side effect. Because it’s such a large number, we begin to assume that everyone in that segment of the population is a criminal. The saying is, “Majority rules,” in a democracy, and so it shall be. There is resentment, anger, and even hatred from both sides.
Our inability to understand and realize it’s only a mere representation, or someone’s interpretation, has disastrous consequences. We tend to shun those types of people from our lives, we chastise and blame them for the problems in this world, and we deny them compassion. Shortly after 9/11, there were many people of Middle Eastern descent that were attacked or killed, because assumptions were made that they too were terrorists. To be any degree of the Islamic or Muslim faith meant to be in affiliation with Al-Quaeda. As a result, many innocent people suffered due to ignorance.
To be fair, I must put myself among those who did not know any better. I assumed this exact same belief as well. I didn’t attack anyone, but I held a deep resentment for anyone who was of Middle Eastern descent. I was caught up in the maelstrom of blame and disbelief that had overtaken so many people in this country. Assumption had blinded my eyes and limited my thoughts.
Lesson learned.