As most of you know, I’ve been on a quest, or journey, if you will, for inner peace for a few years now. In such a short time, I’ve been able to look at my life from a very different perspective. I’ve been able to divert intense anger, fear, and frustration in healthier ways. I’ve been able to release grudges, let go of resentment, and to forgive those whom I believe have hurt me in my past. It’s all been very liberating, exciting, and exhilarating at times! I know that I’ve made so much progress in such a short time, and I’m very grateful for this.
Lately, things haven’t been so “perfect.” Things are going on in this world that even I have a hard time believing, and it’s VERY difficult not to have a reaction towards them. I know how the ego takes charge in such matters, yet I still wonder if I should just accept things as they are, or make a difference doing something helpful. Naturally, my first reaction is to write or talk about it, and sometimes I get caught up in the emotions that surface when I am in the swing of things.
I have learned that we are to serve and to help others, as it’s what our purpose on this planet is. I struggle with whether or not what I’m doing is really helping in any way at all, or if it’s just a way for the ego to feel better about itself, and justify its actions. People have told me that what I say and do does make a difference. When the positive feedback comes pouring in, it’s easy to get caught up in the adulation, and to allow that to become your reason for doing what really needs to come from the heart. I’m still debating on where I am in such matters. The last thing I want to do is to “sell out.”
Recently, I believe that I was referred to as a phoney, and that I don’t practice what I “preach.” This is due in part to my reaction to a few worldly events that really set off some triggers. I reacted in anger, but I didn’t feel I was out of line. If something were to happen to my friends or family in front of me, It would be VERY difficult to just stand there and let it happen. I would naturally want to protect them in any way that I could. Being spiritual doesn’t mean being passive and just letting injustice happen. I care about those that I love, and will do the best to protect them in the wisest means possible if the you-know-what hits the fan.
I know that violence is not the ultimate answer to our problems, but how do you reason with a group of aggressively armed men who are trying to take you or your family away? Would you just go without a fight? I mean, ask yourself honestly! It happens all the time in other countries! We can pray to our chosen gods for guidance and strength, and then do what we can to get free. Don’t even tell me that this is Divine Intervention! Was World War II a blessing? I think not.
So, before you take me to task for having a bad day or “straying off the path,” know this. I will do my best to do what I believe to be right in the remaining days of my life. They may sometimes however go against things that you do believe. I am not perfect by any means, and I still have much further to go down the path. One piece of advice: Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself.