Over the last 3 months, you’ve heard me talk about everything from sports to music to technology to the holidays. I’ve done my best to give you my take on how I see the world, and suggesting what I honestly believe would be helpful in this day and age. There is one topic that I have not touched yet, and that is the human race as a whole. Now is the time to put it under the microscope.
Upon seeing the movie, “the Book of Eli,” and a few TV shows regarding religion and Spirituality, I felt the urge to delve deeper down the rabbit hole of life, past, present, and future. Having been partially indoctrinated with some religious beliefs, and the fear of God put into me, I, for many years did not question just what it is we are doing, or why we are doing it. I was too busy trying to find my “niche” in society, just hoping to be accepted. I didn’t stop to think about what was really going on.
I would just accept war as a fact of life, and power struggles were just something that happened. It wasn’t until about a half a decade ago that I began to think to myself, “Why are we here? What is our purpose on this Earth? Why do we exist?” I had the Existential Blues. I was discouraged, and I had lost my way. I felt hopeless and distraught. I had allowed the things going on in this world to drag me down into the depths of depression. It seemed that everything I had ever done was in vain, and it mattered as much as a speck of dust on the floor.
I saw people fighting, taking each other’s lives. I saw others blindly following religion, without question. I saw people who were never happy, no matter how much material wealth they acquired. I saw people looked down upon because they didn’t have what other folks seemed to have. I saw CHILDREN who wanted nothing more than love, and it was nowhere to be found. Most of all, I saw these things within MYSELF.
I can’t deny it…seeing these things brought on a pain that I’ve never felt before in my life. An emptiness emerged, and I was terrified…of myself and of the world. A darkness emerged, and I was swept into it. Everything that I was ever taught to believe, or learned through non-verbal communication suddenly meant absolutely nothing to me. This was the beginning of me finding my own path in life.
I used to envy others because of the things they had, the dream jobs, the wealth, the vacations they took, and their popularity. I always felt like I was “on the outside looking in.” Because I thought that I was unable to get admitted to that Exclusive Club, I felt worthless and a failure. To do anything else meant to be less than worthwhile. I compared myself endlessly with everyone else. Of course, they always had it better than me, no matter what.
One day, I woke up and decided that there must be more than what I am seeing in life. There simply must be more than these “games” we are allotted within the span of our lifetimes. There must be more than killings spurned on by fear and ignorance. There certainly must be more than greed and power struggles. I’d like to think that we have evolved to the point of solving conflicts with violence and dictatorships. I’m still not sure, yet I have hope that there is a way to find it.